On being a woman Pt 1

Another broad topic which could go on forever. This post was partly inspired by a random Facebook post, and the revisiting of someone's blog who I find thought and shock provoking all at once. First, to the Facebook post. It read:

多微笑，做一个开朗热忱的女人；多打扮，做一个美丽优雅的女人；多倾听，做一个温柔善意的女人，多看书，做一个淡定内涵的女人；多思考，做一个聪慧冷静的女人。记住为自己而进步，而不是为了满足谁，讨好谁。

Being a woman is so tiring, then and now, just that scope differs. The quote says that a woman should do this for herself, but underneath all that are societal expectations, familial pressures, personal egos. So many facets to polish, just taking care of the intellectual bit isn't enough, got to develop sartorial style, cultured manners (because we live in a shallow world after all. Yes people could fight and deny this all they want, but sadly this holds true in so many immediate aspects of life, right down to how your colleagues perceive you.) Perhaps being a woman is like being a diamond - painstaking polishing everyday, until all facets are hard, solid, razor sharp, and you shine from every angle. 

The quote hasn't even touched on the varied pressures you face, depending on what type of woman you are - married/single/rich/poor etc. Being an unmarried woman, I cannot say with any intelligence a married woman's woes or restrictions, but man do I have alot to say about being a single woman in an urban cage.

Bringing me nicely to that blog. It was kept by Daul, a Korean supermodel. I still revisit it every now and then even though it hasn't been updated since 2 years ago, when she committed suicide at 20. Investigations were carried out, but I doubt they ever got to the root cause of her suicide. 

I miss her, she was so unique and brave. Sometimes I identified with what she wrote, sometimes I was shocked. But she was always honest, writing of her dislike for the industry's cruel mercenary ways, but also its excitement, and above all her perpetual loneliness. In a way, her blog was a visceral probe into what it feels like to come from mixed backgrounds, immersing headlong into foreign places, while trying to make sense of who you are as a woman.

Another woman who I admire also committed suicide - Slyvia Plath. Seemingly there is no link between these two, but maybe they were both sacrifices of circumstances.


"Apparently, the most difficult feat for a Cambridge male is to accept a woman not merely as feeling, not merely as thinking, but as managing a complex, vital interweaving of both.''
 
Sylvia Plath (1932-1963), U.S. poet. Isis (Oxford, May 6, 1956). Written while Plath was a student at Cambridge