Yes indeed. Being 20something is like being stuck in an unrelenting whirlpool. Doubts, suspicions, fears, loneliness...they all combine in such a way I wonder whether life is ever going to "turn out fine" It has gotten to the point when I question whether there's a tiny streak of lesbian in me (no.)
Alot of people sneer at so called self help books, or dont openly admit they read these for fear of seeming like losers who dont know what to do with their poor selves. Actually, I find if you take them with a pinch of salt, and apply some analytical thinking, these books are kind of enlightening (the good ones, not the ones that start every chapter with a quote eg. "Life is a bowl of strawberries!")
So. I read this book "20 something manifesto" which is pretty awesome. It doesnt attempt to give any quick fix answers, but also not sweeping statements like yes get inspired and miraculously your life will improve somehow. In summary it confirmed what Im beginning to distill from all my past experiences - You have to look deeper within yourself before you can make any life-changing decisions.
Everything from career choices to lifestyle, friends, potential husband etc etc all boil down to who you truly are internally.
Suddenly brought down nostalgia lane. I remember thinking how damn useless i was few years back, with an unimpressive resume, and everyday person on the street qualifications. The long job search made me feel depressed and worthless. It was so tempting to just jump at any offer anyone held out, just so I could end all this misery. So glad I resisted and stuck it out. When I finally decided to map out who I was, not just in terms of capabilities, but also personality, personal beliefs, it somehow made the job search so much easier. No need to spring at every vacancy, and patiently search for one that seemed a good match with who I was at that time.
And so, here I am : ) From here on, the goal is just to live fully in the moment, take baby steps towards a few specific goals, or rather, signposts. Coz we all know life is a continuing journey.....
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